You smell like stripper and shame
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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