Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
