C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
