i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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