I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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