I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
