I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
