READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize