adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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