My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
