Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
