you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Randomize
