she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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