i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
