I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
