he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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