i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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