hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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