Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.â€
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Randomize
