Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just pee around me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
