The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
