Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I have demons in me.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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