Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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