Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize