Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
