shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
