When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
