Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
My orgasm happened in two different decades
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
