He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
