my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize