I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
