Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
