she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
