so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
