The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
