It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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