That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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