Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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