Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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