Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
