I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
