I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
