i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
