my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
