A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
