hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
