Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My dick has a subreddit
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
