I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
