He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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