So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
