I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
