Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
