sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I would ride that face into the sunset
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
