I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
