hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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