Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
