No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
