we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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